Please ask for my permission before making any of my inventions. Please pay me a lot of money.



Realistically, I project that I can sell "homemade robots" for $800 each at swap meet/flea markets. I project that I can make an H.R. for $45. On Venice Beach, I was able to have a boardwalk-vender-lot for the annual price of $15.

H.R. Programing:

  • Easiest- Remote Button Control
  • Moderate- Voice activated

An Easiest H.R. could be programmed with 20 button activated dialogues, 5 movements and 2 positions (Standing and sitting).

A great H.R. situation is the H.R. sitting at a dinner table saying explosively-provocative things to unknowing party guests.

An Example Dialogue:              "What did you say your name was?" (5 second pause) "I have $16,000,000. I'm here to audition you as one of my high paid employees." (3 second pause) "Let me stop you short. I'll give you 5 thousand cash, just for talking to me." (10 second pause) "I'm so rich that I can feed everyone to vampires. I think they can eat you instead of paying you money. How do you like me now, you petty little bitch? You have bad breath." (2 second pause) "Chuck, can you escort this gentle person out of here?" ( 4 second pause) "Okay, who wants to go to the Bahamas tomorrow?"



RC Bot

Radio controlled ro-bot, realistic  mannequin, pushing a walker. Weighted feet, rotor hip motor, walker wheel direction control, video camera. 

Body Armor Fat suit 


 Surfboard Propeller

Rubber waterproof electric propeller on surfboard.   Could be behind fin or on nose, with a hinge type lever, that pulls it out of the water, on top of the board.

Fart Sniffers Fan in Chairs

filters air at push of a button. 

Dog costume that uses it's 4 legs to look like 2 people are walking single file. (inflated mannequins mounted costume)    The dog in the costume could be more or less concealed, and the person-costume could even be designed so that it looks like it's holding the dog, where the fabricated visible dog body is part of the costume. The part of the costume that looks like people, aliens, monster, or whatever is walking on 2 legs could be inflatable, even filled with helium or cotton, like plush dolls.


 RC Robotic Squirrel Suirvelance Camera Hand Gun

There could be drills and screws in it's arms and legs, to drill into the wood, to station itself for suirvelance and firing of bullets. If it was not drilled into a surface, when it fired the bullet, it would do a back flip and land back on it's feet (if it was weighted right). They would weigh about 7 pounds and be able to be programmed to patrol perimeters and maybe even distinguish targets and fire on their own! (if their computer was good enough!)

Food Beverage Analyzation Machine

Pour your specimen in a slot, inside the machine. Insert $10 and get a print out of the chemical ingridients 


Baby stroller that looks like a sail ship.

If I was a Dad, (a dad in the matrix? Wouldn't my kid be a CGP?) I would take my child's favorite tv show program or DVD and edit it. It would be like Big Bird from Sesame street saying "And now, we have a special host! Max Kremer!" and then it would be like CGI of me playing guitar and singing and acting like I'm part of the show. I wonder if my kid would be confused or think that I'm a tv personality. 

Funny T-shirts 


Since it seems that I, Max Kremer, could not possibly have invented RPVGs  , as if someone invented them in the past... What if on a small, micro-pixel section of a tv screen of nintendo 64 games or old video games displaying blocky cartoon game, was an RPVG screen, where the player, like a secret agent, uses a magnifying glass device to enlarge and play RPVGs. As if on the normal size cartoon screen, the players' control seems to be going out of bounds and as if the player was pressing buttons of actions for no reason, while the micro-screen displays gameplay. One TV. One game system/game. One normal game screen.  One small RPVG screen as a tiny section of the normal screen.           Or what if the old game systems/games could be "hacked" to play stored RPVG data.

'Roulette Spinners'  Car Rims

What if one made a human shaped balloon, with light weight clothes, a realistic looking face, filled with helium, weighted at the feet and then with a light weight trigger system, released the weights and the human balloon (looks exactly like a normal person) floats off in the sky. The face could even have light weight mechanical movements behind the face, so that it looks like it's going crazy. It could even be making funny sounds if a small speaker was in it's mouth. The weight trigger could be radio controlled,like it was standing on a board or the weight release could be triggered by water weight. The pants could be full of water and then the magician pulls out the plugs at the feet and then about a minute or 2 later, the balloon starts to float.The water could be instead filled with pee or red dye to look like blood. Other balloons:

  • Dog
  • Motorcycle
  • Tree
  • Computer (in office)

What if corporate sponsors paid for a radio controlled airplane, the size of a real cargo/passenger plane to be flown and shot down off the coast for a public view spectacular. The military could probably use AA guns on it and the public could see what it actually looks like for a plane to be shot down and fall into the ocean.


What if in the future, people could go to a store, pick up an electric sign-billboard  jacket, wear it around town and then return it to the store and get paid for the time they wore the jacket.    Thats a new advertising economy!


What if car vehicles in the future,( like sedans!) ,resembled animals. The grill and front was their face and teeth and the wheel hubs were like their legs folded, clutching the tires.

What if when a person was sleeping, someone else put them inside a virtual reality suit and helmet. When the sleeping person woke up, they found themselves talking to "super-natural creatures" (computer graphics). That might be an easy way to get a person's pin numbers and all of their most secret information.  If the sleeping person's name was Murph,  It's like; "No,  Murph. I told you, I'm really Julius Ceaser's ghost. Do you remember the magic gazelle that brought you the cupcakes that you kept dropping? Anyways, the reason I need your bank pin numbers is because you are actually in a different dimention and since your family needs your money, we super-natural creatures do not want to be brought to the super-natural-courts about tampering people's lives on Earth. So all you have to do is tell us the information we need and then the cherry-robbins-fairies will come back to take you to the magical-bubble-forest." (or pretend that they are holy persons, afterlife scenarios, insanity scenarios, horror scenarios...)


What if someone put wrap-around contacts on someone's eyeballs (the kind that cub the eye and don't have noticeable edges) of another color and then put contacts on top of them that where the same color as the person's normal eyes when they were sleeping and then told them "You've been wearing color contacts your whole life. Your real eyes are a different color." And then told them how to take their contacts out so that they saw the contacts underneath and didn't know that they were wearing two pairs of contacts.


Windmill Powered Boat

With a specific designed gear system, a windmill could spin in 360 degrees and spin a gear, that can be transferred to a track system of paddles, like tank tracks, on a boat. The boat could have 6 lines of track (6 windmills). The paddles could cup the water to push it and then on the way back, they collapse to be hydrodynamic.

 Electronic Guitar  wrist system   "WRISTAR"

It's like a new instrument. The guitar neck is on the right arm, as a wrist apparatis and the right hand does the plucking on a little nub on the tip. The frets could be like the digitech guitars where they sense pressure of the fret to make the sounds.

 What if when it was really windy, if one flew a kite and tied a light weight to the string and sent it off sailing.


One could get a clean trashcan or bin, tub, dump a bunch of glue in it. Dump a bunch of water in it. (Like paper-mache) and then dip and soak a sleeping bag in it. Take the wet sleeping bag and position and form it with sticks, until it dries. Then mount it above your couch, in your living room, like a living room couch awning.

The ROBO-STAFF looks like a wooden stick, and when activated, thrown onto the ground, the wooden shell collapses into the rod, and a snake skin roll over, to make the staff turn into a snake! A small motor and wheel system on the snake's belly makes it slither away! 

Scare your friends with a life-size RC Robo Shark!  If they have mechanical chomping sharp toothed jaws, be sure not to eat anyone!        Great for lakes, oceans and home swimming pools!


          A Gold Champagne 12 oz. Can. CRV = $800


2-liter soda bottle chair

If I took a bunch of empty 2-liter soda bottles, tied and taped them together to make a chair. The leg bottles could be filled with water.


A realistic rubber face mask, (Life-Cast), with a robotics system that answers and speaks foreign languages. (Smart-Cast)


Super Wet Suits


That would be cool if there were wet-suit designs that looked like police uniforms, batman, spiderman, ect. Handcuffs, belt, arm patch could be painted on.


Goofy Suit

That would be cool if there was a carhart type robe cloth material that looked like a wetsuit. A wetsuit that could be worn off the beach. It would fit just as tight as a wetsuit, with the same zipper, the same type of design, but made of cloth designed for not being wet. It's like "Hey, why are you wearing a wetsuit in public?" "I'm not, it's not a wetsuit. It's a Goofysuit."


A bikini that has a photo print of a mushroom pizza slice on  the bottoms and poca dot mushroom-icon top.



Paintballs that are filled with compacted sponges. When the paintball explodes, the sponge inside unravels to be many times larger than it was. A sponge-ball design type example could be like a rectangular square that says "Warning".


To make an empty house's window appear as though a large party is inside... (best at night)

  1. put large tv inside house facing out window.
  2. record people or party scene with a video camera to correct size/proportion. (Make sure that the video cam's angles are the same as the viewer. That means if someone is walking along the sidewalk, looking in the house at the video of what is played on the tv, behind the window, has to be at the angle of the viewer. So that means the videographer for the video has to be walking along the house pointed at the window. If the viewer is looking at the house from a moving automobile, the video has to be from that angle and speed.)
  3. attach tv to pedestrian/driver/visitor sensors
  4. the tv screen would have to be on a 180 degree pivot roll frame, where the screen is constantly at a perpendicular planar degree from the viewer. That means an electric motor would have to be synchronized with the video and the targeted viewer.


Mini Airplane Bullet

What if instead of a bullet loaded in  an explosive cap,   a specially designed bullet, maybe in the shape of an airplane or whistle(could weigh about 8 lbs.), was launched out of a gun. The gun would have no barrel. It might need a track system to jettison the object.  The mini airplane bullet might be about the size of a person's hand. It should be aerodynamic. Some designs might make the mini airplane bullet fly in a circle around a football field, screaming with it's whistler. If the mini airplane bullet was actually a droid, the bullet could be launched thousand of miles and then it could start floating down to the ground like a bumble bee.




Prehistoric Horse Hooves

What if prehistoric horses hooves, if not cut/broken, grew so big that they would become long plastic-like swords, where the horse is kneeling and crawling like a sled, and then when they grew long enough, they were like a "horse ball", as the hooves  had grown circular, making it appear as though it was inside a protected cage ball. The prehistoric horse might have had symbiotic-relations with other prehistoric animals, where other animals lived inside the horse-ball with it, as defense protection.  (Like you know how they say some hamsters teeth don't stop growing until they curve around into the hamster's brain.)


At the beach, It would be funny if a group of bikini wearers were "shamed in public" by an explanation that:

                              "They were tricked to wear their underwear in public."

Like "dreams" about being shocked about being naked in public, the bikini wearers find themselves embarrassed about being in their underwear in public.

                          "Oh yeah, everyone can see the crease of their crotch. They forgot their clothes."


 (..But black, with painted insignia to look exactly like a wetsuit.))


If a group of dogs, about 8 or 10, were all harnessed together, 2 rows, like ididarod, and the light-weight harness allows them to lay comfortable when resting and always facing forward (a little slack in between all of them), it would be funny if they were deployed in a giant backyard, moving around like some type of bug-leg blanket. The harness, a horizontal net rectangle could be designed to provide shade for them. The animals would be staring at eachother's rears, working together, traveling through dirt/grasses to food/water trofs. Their wolf-pack instincts would probably be heightened as they do not feel like individual animals, but part of a group. If they weren't all the same size, the smaller ones might get dragged a little (from shoulder harness) and the two lead dogs should be the strongest. They should probably all be the same size. The corners of the multi-harness might need to have wheel-poles. 


What if someone set up about 6 heated life casts with breathing-motors, in a room, laying on "their" stomach's and made it look like they were plugged into matrix machines.

 It's like   "Hey, want to come check out my matrix room?"  to their friends, Or

"Dude, examine this TV screen of what the sleeping people see."


Plastic-wearable rings that slightly transform to fly off the finger into the sky, using small multi-propellers.

Note* The motor probably would be too heavy. If a motor could be designed to be a "ring" instead of a cylinder, it might work (?) It might tickle when it launches.


Why are giant skyscrapers only in some cities?

What if someone built a skyscraper out in the middle of nowhere or near a desolate highway? A skyscraper in the middle of the wilderness would be interesting. Tenants could have patios with beautiful views of nature. If the Wilderness-Skyscraper was built in a mountain valley, it could be braced with a horizontal bridge that connected the mountain tops of the valley. Wind, earthquakes and soil erosion would be the concern.

  • Plastic windows could be used instead of glass. Glass is heavy!
  • 3 or 4 restaurants in the building
  • Holodeck theater
  • driving range golf patio, hunting range patio, base-jump skydive patio, fishing patio if a man-made river channel was built.
  • No bulky TVs in rooms, only flat screens. Only light-weight furniture.
  • Since water is heavy, perhaps the tenants could bathe, launder at the base of the building. Their base-bathrooms could be private with a key.
  • Toilets that use no water could be located up in the higher-rooms. Dried feces mixed with paper is flammable and can be burned as fuel for heat. Pee goes straight down pipe, poop drops in sanitary paper bin and then drops down shaft.



True: "Tents are allowed to be built without a contractor's license."


What if there was a loop-hole, to build a series of tents (they look like real buildings) on one's private property.

        People could be purchasing land and living on it for pennies to the dollar. Foam brick panels, photograph embedded tarp walls for texture. A thin and strong solid roof could easily be adjoined to 4 legs, and then onto those 4 legs, 4 more legs, per floor. Windows could be of clear thin plastic sliding units. Door could be a thin, lockable panel entrance. The ceiling and wall lamps could be like powerful rechargeable flashlights. Linoleum and carpet flooring. The tarp walls might have an outer layer of foam-like epoxy, to resemble stucco.

The outside of the E.H. looks like a concrete, painted, decorated $500,000. home. The interior is tent-walls.

The roof looks 100% realistic because it is realistic. The window trim does too.

The Emergency Houses are note Storm-Proof! The Emergency Houses are Rain-Proof.

Cost to make estimation: $100 small house. $400-$1,000 big house.

Seller Price: $1,000 small. $4,000-$10,000 big.


Emergency Fences: They are light weight segments, with  attached "lawn spikes", 2 or 3, sharp metal stakes under bottom. Pushes right into the grass. Fence looks real, but might be made of water-proof cardboard.

Elevated Front Yard Tents: 2 inches of grass and soil are placed on top of the short tent, that is like wings to the taller tent. The walls adjacent to the "lawn" are covered in realistic-foam-bricks (to look like a brick wall with grass).

Some E.H.'s could look like mansions.

Note* Many Emergency Houses in town would mean:

  • Inhabitants have extra spending power in the local market economy.



Similar to a twisting barbershop sign (a painted tube spinning in a glass container ,motorized) , a gear system uses the spinning tube gear to also run a clear-plastic-track, perpendicular so that an icon(a flat picture glued onto a clear plastic, divided cord, tracked in  motorized gear teeth) placed on the clear plastic track can motion down the length of the spinning tube, to provide an additional optical illusion.



It's a bicycle that unfolds it's parallel frame, to transform into 2 bike-frames adjoined, to make a bike-cart. 4 wheels. A different design could be a bike that has 2 extra unused wheels at the sides, to extend like a diamond (+1 trailer wheel, behind for extra cargo)

It rides like a bike. Stop. Transform. Rides like a bike-cart.

A hammock could dangle, fastened above the ground, like a space saver sleeping area.


What if instead of homeless people pushing shopping carts (stolen property) they had giant "house on truck bed" type carts, light weight, to sleep, live in, push around and park.  3-bikes-length, 3-bikes-wide. 

What if a light-weight, full size, "mock-jet", made of cardboard or even aluminum, was loaded with an amplifier sound system and clear-propellers (propellers look invisible) so that it could be radio-controlled to appear as a real jet and just as loud.


Swivel Breeze. Directional based spinning blade with sensitive pressure lock. No matter what angle the blade is swung, the blade edge rotates with the momentum and wind of the swing automatically to "lock on target struck".

Sword of Collapse. The blade is comprised of 3 blades that are connected with spring tension chords that collapse away from the swinger and reform automatically.

Chain Sword. Similar to a chainsaw. Electric motor.

Instead of small handles assumed with classic swords, Mazel Tough Swords handles are bent and 3 ft. long.  




Scary Copter Boxes

A box can be placed on the ground, in a park or backyard, at a button, the lid can open to eject a small helicopter, connected to a reel line. Attached to the copter and line is a costume design of a ghost, monster or alien. The costume has speakers for recorded spooky sounds and lights. The copter-geist could easily be reeled back into the box, ready to be deployed again. 

 Tobacco Pouch Fangs "Tangs"

That would be neat if tobacco pouches, like Copenhagen, had little fangs in them to resemble teeth. The pouch could be sewn to have 4 "fang flaps" at each corner.

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